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I'll Go Out With A BangI find myself beginning once again.
So far from an elusive end.
My consistent sigh of breath, I detest.
My constant need to inhale and exhale, I repress.
But still I find myself trying to impress.
And I'm still trying to do what's right without seeming suppressed.
But to you, what I'm fighting for, isn't even worth the fight.
And this bending and winding,
With no assurance of an end.
No reassurance to possibly again begin!
Failing is not an option I was given!
You made that crystal when I first began.
This needed perfection.
The weight of the sky.
The air so dense.
The world spinning on top of my shoulders.
I loathe it all.
Then my chest rises into a suppressed dying fall.
Oh! I hate my lungs!
They will not stop moving within.
I feel each of their poundings against my rib and skin.
And then I decided, I shall be an arsonist!
I will coax the flames to get some kind of pleasure.
I need some type of satisfaction!
A thrill I never before had the privilege to ex
PariahThen being alone proved to be more compamy than being with them. And in some weird way you felt at home by being away. And the light seemed dark, especially within the day. And the night seemed also too dark and became a scary place. All because you were once afraid that sinners became saints for their lives became blank and as white as a cotton slate. And somehow you did not belong to this world. You became an alien race, tainted and warped in your alien face! You became a stranger to your friends; their words became putrid laced. They decorated your mind along with every foul thought they would make. And how your heart became at stake of ever getting staked. But the wood they would use, of course, was of a nasty taste. So you ran. You ran and ran coming up on a new place. And the heart never again vulnerable became a heart now saved. And soul
EsyliumI once found myself fabricating,
All alone and separate, simply thinking.
And with my every part hesitating,
I found myself recreating,
And all around imitating,
I guess you could call it replicating,
For my thoughts were well breathing.
My inhaling and exhaling orchestrating,
Every breath lively illustrating,
Never once adulterating,
It all was so exasperating,
All of this make-believing.
But still I kept elaborating,
My very thoughts exaggerating,
My whole self reverberating,
My mind kept impersonating,
But I held to my thoughts rapturing.
In turn, made you more infatuating,
And, in my mind, illumiating,
And I never ceased creating,
GreyAll I remember is grey.
The long faded grey road.
To our right, through smoky eyes I saw.
The small slated rocks that mimicked small grey mountains.
The threatening grey clouds clinging low in the dusky sky,
Practically making it an ashen fog.
That favorite grey shirt that he wore,
Which smelled of cologne and rainy, grey wind.
The silver truck that could not stop.
Yeah, I can not remember anything other than grey.
DyingBefore I sigh my last gasp, let me breathe.
Before my hearts stops all blood, let it beat.
For I became lost some time ago,
When at first I wandered and found myself alone.
To this day, I lay in my coffin of weeds.
Still silent and waiting for you to see me,
And if you happen to come across,
My body on this ground once bare,
Perhaps you'll think me lost;
But if you stopped to stare,
You'll seem to find my chest still fighting to rise.
Barely clinging to breath so you can watch it die.
Addicted to Messy Kisses (Visual) I want to sit on the
roof top in your boxers and kiss
you while listening to you telling me about
the stars that made the constellations on my
face. I want to kiss you when you photograph me,
because that's what I want to remember: loving you
endlessly and boundlessly. I want to kiss you when you
are too tired and too drunk, and watch you slobbering all
over me, while I laugh in your breath on my lips. I want to
kiss you in libraries, when you'll blush and tell me to sto
organized chaosHis brain's like
reflecting muted light.
His brain is architecturally sound,
with perfect corners
organized into neat sections,
metal cutting the spectrum
into cautious pieces.
He tells me he's nothing.
He tells me that he's grown up
from the cracks in the sidewalk
like a dandelion,
and he's been waiting his whole life
for someone to come along
and blow his fucking head off.
He tells me he comes from a bad place,
and I nod
when all I want to do is shake him
and remind him
that everything beautiful
must grow up out of the dirt.
I wanted to write you a lovesong.i.
Summer rain has nothing
on the sound of your laugh,
little pinpricks of sunshine
lounging across the cobbled
streets of midnight,
cooled grey eyes, shining
tears of nightlights
glowing like stars in your cheeks;
in darkened archways,
hollow stone walls
reverberating through my skull --
back to earth, loving
taking root under the city floor,
breathing across cool hands
in warmer songs, notes
bundled under my sheets
thoughts that last all night
and drift between the rafters
of my chest
wanting at last;
pure, starry sky and
dawn rolls down the mountainside,
turrets and towers
crinkle-eyed smile batters
falling -- falling --
more delicate than down
softly into the clouds.
one life into another
the moon has sunk
into my soul; I am losing
but the bloodl
BloodlustIn our private heaven
We satisfy our bloodlust
By breaking each other's skin
With a shinny blade
And tasting the crimson flow
The flow of life
A life of lust and love
The love we feel
For each other
A bloody and guilty love
Of voluntary wounds
And beautiful scars
Our reason to live
Our dirty secret
A secret we both carry
With great pleasure
The only way
We can feel happiness
Two LilliesI found my soul,
in a white lily atop a hill,
a red wine sunset
splashed against the sky.
My heart felt her before
I could see,
the flower strongly rooted
petals blowing with a battle cry
against the wind.
The gusts overtime,
testing and strengthening
the precious growth
roots sewn deep.
I sat beside,
your petals open wide
nothing left to hide,
shades of white
despite the soil you came from.
Yet alone you sit
a secret scent,
for me to enjoy
as I read a book,
and talk to you about everything and nothing.
Late into the night.
dew like tear drops,
and I couldn't take you home with me
but I would return again,
Until the day I join you.
How the waves tasted your anklesSince you are the only sailor
of the sea that my moon-
child eyes so easily bleed,
I crumble to shoreline pieces
every time I press my lips
to half-neglected sea glass,
haunted by visions of the way
you rolled cherries on your tongue.
Lover, I will try to forget you.The moon is braiding
her sighs into my hair
as I tell her 'I
dislike the thought
of being perfect.
Even more because
I always tried for him.'
There is turbulence
in these bones as he
ghosts past me and
into the skyline.
Perhaps it is time
I stop following.
StarsYou fill me up with bubbles,
dreams and futures floating for me.
Using a line of chalk to draw my life plans on me,
outlining where we can go together.
Stars scribbled across my forehead,
highway across my belly.
Breathing in the cars, making a map of our love.
YouWhen every breath brings a memory,
I begin to dread to breathe.
And in pure haste, I silence my lungs,
Or at least I try.
And every thoughts brings about your face,
The look I have seen a thousand times.
(Even in my reasoning, I cannot deny you.)
I ordain myself to stop.
Or at least in contempt, I attempt.
And damn the night.!
I loathe its darkness.
But more the suffocating dreams...
Because of you I am unable to endure any sleep,
Nor the thoughts that pre-exist.
No; to hell with reminisces of you.
No longer will I let myself commemorate history.
Lovely once? But lovely in perpetuum!
Our once evermore infinitiveness,
Oh, it has turned into almost happenstances.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More