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I'll Go Out With A BangI find myself beginning once again.
So far from an elusive end.
My consistent sigh of breath, I detest.
My constant need to inhale and exhale, I repress.
But still I find myself trying to impress.
And I'm still trying to do what's right without seeming suppressed.
But to you, what I'm fighting for, isn't even worth the fight.
And this bending and winding,
With no assurance of an end.
No reassurance to possibly again begin!
Failing is not an option I was given!
You made that crystal when I first began.
This needed perfection.
The weight of the sky.
The air so dense.
The world spinning on top of my shoulders.
I loathe it all.
Then my chest rises into a suppressed dying fall.
Oh! I hate my lungs!
They will not stop moving within.
I feel each of their poundings against my rib and skin.
And then I decided, I shall be an arsonist!
I will coax the flames to get some kind of pleasure.
I need some type of satisfaction!
A thrill I never before had the privilege to ex
PariahThen being alone proved to be more compamy than being with them. And in some weird way you felt at home by being away. And the light seemed dark, especially within the day. And the night seemed also too dark and became a scary place. All because you were once afraid that sinners became saints for their lives became blank and as white as a cotton slate. And somehow you did not belong to this world. You became an alien race, tainted and warped in your alien face! You became a stranger to your friends; their words became putrid laced. They decorated your mind along with every foul thought they would make. And how your heart became at stake of ever getting staked. But the wood they would use, of course, was of a nasty taste. So you ran. You ran and ran coming up on a new place. And the heart never again vulnerable became a heart now saved. And soul
EsyliumI once found myself fabricating,
All alone and separate, simply thinking.
And with my every part hesitating,
I found myself recreating,
And all around imitating,
I guess you could call it replicating,
For my thoughts were well breathing.
My inhaling and exhaling orchestrating,
Every breath lively illustrating,
Never once adulterating,
It all was so exasperating,
All of this make-believing.
But still I kept elaborating,
My very thoughts exaggerating,
My whole self reverberating,
My mind kept impersonating,
But I held to my thoughts rapturing.
In turn, made you more infatuating,
And, in my mind, illumiating,
And I never ceased creating,
GreyAll I remember is grey.
The long faded grey road.
To our right, through smoky eyes I saw.
The small slated rocks that mimicked small grey mountains.
The threatening grey clouds clinging low in the dusky sky,
Practically making it an ashen fog.
That favorite grey shirt that he wore,
Which smelled of cologne and rainy, grey wind.
The silver truck that could not stop.
Yeah, I can not remember anything other than grey.
DyingBefore I sigh my last gasp, let me breathe.
Before my hearts stops all blood, let it beat.
For I became lost some time ago,
When at first I wandered and found myself alone.
To this day, I lay in my coffin of weeds.
Still silent and waiting for you to see me,
And if you happen to come across,
My body on this ground once bare,
Perhaps you'll think me lost;
But if you stopped to stare,
You'll seem to find my chest still fighting to rise.
Barely clinging to breath so you can watch it die.
My SunlightYou are my sun,
My only light,
As you fade,
The moon is there,
A memory of you,
Of the darkness,
Before your dawn.
You are the breeze,
That kisses my face,
Those tender lips,
That rushing embrace.
You are the grass,
Beneath my feet,
You hide my tears,
You support my weight.
You are the last,
One for me,
There was many before,
But they were never the same.
With you its right,
With you its love,
And if tonight,
I come above.
I'll see your glory,
From the moon,
From the memory,
Of this afternoon.
Puppet String SymphonyHere come the snares,
wrenching at my heart;
like my tongue can’t find the words to say.
I've been resurrecting your skeletons,
just to place broken flesh over it and watch it all decay…
…scratching at freshly picked scars and rose petals,
while digging up old habits and hatchets;
just so I can whistle a tune so tragic.
Here comes the wind,
stomping at my lungs;
like my emotions are gasping to be released.
I've been coughing up your cover-ups,
just to place my index finger over it and watch it all cease…
…living in this darkness, sulfur-tipped match tossed in the breeze,
while thinking it’s just not worth the candle;
just so I can hum a song you can’t handle.
Here come the keys,
playing at my mind;
like all eighty-eight demons and angels serving one star.
I've been worshipping my self-inflicted headache,
two times twelve and that’s how many bars…
…I've got to show you the color I feel.
When the puppet string symphony beg
About ArtA sweet poem,
All but a
For the true art called
I PromiseIt is a painful thought
To know he kissed you,
To know he stole your innocence.
He felt the warmth and comfort of your love,
But manipulated it to lust
And turned that perfect smile I now see,
Into a lifeless vessel
That gave into his
Carefully painted words
He had you
Before I ever knew you,
I'm sorry I wasn't there,
I'm sorry I could not save you.
But look up at me now, love,
Look up at me with those astonishing, crystal eyes
And know that I will love you
Until this heart of mine has given out.
I am your present
And your future;
I will love you for more than your body,
I will love your wild personality,
I will love your motherly instincts,
I will love your acceptance,
I will love your understanding,
I will love your "frustrations",
I will love your timidness,
I will love your stubbornness,
I will love your laughter,
I will love your tears,
I will love your scars,
I will love your flaws,
But most of all;
I will love you.
TonightBring me to life
With your touch.
Love me now,
Forget me later.
Set me on fire
With your lips,
Into my soul.
At least for tonight,
Let me feel again.
my eyes sometimes forget youwhen you are gone, my eyes sometimes forget you;
the daily grind goes on; the bus-wheels roll their hides over the asphalt roads;
the snow melts into pools and clings to boots, licking the rubber heels of girls
who sway their hips to music that i only faintly hear; the women smile in coffee shops
and leave stray hairs on the wicker chairs; people pass by windows and their zippers
catch the light; my fingers turn the pages of new books.
somehow your voice finds me in the midst of all of this,
and very softly brings the words
that never really leave me:
this is my love.
when you are gone, my eyes sometimes forget you-
but my heart does not.
Unrequited LoveJust think of me.
Text me good morning and good night.
Text me at lunch just to let me know you're alright.
Wish me a good nap around five or six.
And if you're every bored just give me a call.
I'll make you a fangirl no matter what.
Even if you never admit it I'll let you off.
Meet up with me every now and then.
Never end a conversation with just goodnight or goodbye.
Ask questions and explore life with me.
Support me but don't try to fix me.
Even though I'll try to fix you.
But first I need this dream to come true...
The GlowThe Glow
Dictated by Puabi
What brings a glow of fire
To a single woman's eyes?
What curves her red lips
Into a joyful smile?
The promise, the delivery,
The receipt of love.
When she was waiting
Such a long while,
And it comes to her heart
In her surprise.
Imagine, when it comes
To a woman like me,
The brightness of the glow
In her eyes.
For Your Eyes Only...For your eyes only, I bare my soul.
For your eyes only, I bare my heart.
For your eyes only, I bare my body.
For your eyes only, I bare my mind.
For your eyes only.
For your ears only, I share my dreams.
For your ears only, I share my fears.
For your ears only, I share my sorrow.
For your ears only, I share my joy.
For your ears only.
For your heart only, I give my love.
For your heart only, I give my strength.
For your heart only, I give my passion.
For your heart only, I give my life.
For your heart only.
All of these and more...
are for you--only for you.
YouWhen every breath brings a memory,
I begin to dread to breathe.
And in pure haste, I silence my lungs,
Or at least I try.
And every thoughts brings about your face,
The look I have seen a thousand times.
(Even in my reasoning, I cannot deny you.)
I ordain myself to stop.
Or at least in contempt, I attempt.
And damn the night.!
I loathe its darkness.
But more the suffocating dreams...
Because of you I am unable to endure any sleep,
Nor the thoughts that pre-exist.
No; to hell with reminisces of you.
No longer will I let myself commemorate history.
Lovely once? But lovely in perpetuum!
Our once evermore infinitiveness,
Oh, it has turned into almost happenstances.
Genghis Whenever we were bad my mother used to take us to the mall to see Genghis Kahn. They kept him in a dusty diorama of a Mongolian steppe, all tall grass and yurts. He sat on a throne of bone (well, plastic shaped like bone), scowling in incomprehension at the American kids who flocked around him like startled lemmings. My mother would usually push us toward him, saying things like “Tell him what you did to your father’s stamp collection.” Genghis would give a grunt, spit a wad of phlegm onto the tall grass, and give us a wizened, wrinkled grimace, as if he had to go to the bathroom.
He terrified me.
My brother couldn’t get enough of him.
When my brother got caught in my mother’s evening dress, my mother grabbed us both and dragged us to Genghis. It was a slow day, and we were the only kids crowding him. “Tell him what you did,” my mother hissed a
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More